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Reflect and Revive – Wake Up for the Holidays

Written by on November 24, 2011 · 1 Comment

It begins today. The launch of the holiday season – the mad rush to the beginning of 2012, where we fill ourselves with new life, vigor, plans for fulfilling our dreams.

I like the idea of starting all of that with a day of gratitude – thankful for a year filled with life and accomplishments. I plan to enjoy the food, the relaxation, the company of today. To let myself be filled with the experience and adventure of the year so far, and with that, embrace the revival and energy of the holiday season, the last month before the rebirth of the New Year.

It’s Thanksgiving Day – and even though I’ve waited until the last minute to write this post, I love that I am already a month ahead in making the next year greater than this one. That’s the very least that I’m hoping for in 2012 – already I have the vision of dreams coming true. Things I’ve wanted to accomplish for years.

For the past few months, I’ve jumped into the delicious struggle of making my dreams happen. I’m not waiting around anymore – and inspiration is coming the more often I show up to meet it. Of course, I still have a long way to go, so here are a few things that will help me on my way:

  • Getting clearer on my dreams

The more I pursue my dreams, the more they refine themselves. They are taking an exciting life of their own, becoming clearer and clearer as they transform. I’m not holding on to the old versions – I’m embracing the adventure of participating in their emergence.

  • Reviewing my goals every day

I always thought it was silly to review what I’m doing every day. I already know that, right? Nope. There are legions of dead ideas behind me, simply because I’ve forgotten them. Seeing it every day keeps me more strongly in the midst of it – and the longer I wait to remember what I set out to do, the more likely I’ll just lose more months and years of my time. Not this year. I need to visualize it and feel it every day.

  • Focus

I’ve got more than one dream. And when I do them all at the same time, none of them get done. As much as I’d like to think multitasking is a good idea, I’ve figured out that it isn’t. In fact, it’s the worst thing I can do if I really want to make things happen. I’m setting aside regular time, and I’ll know exactly what I’m creating when I get there. An hour of focused time on one thing is amazing. So, one thing at a time, hour by hour, with only 1 or 2 key tasks to get done in a day.

  • Refresh and Revive Daily

And in all of that, I’ll give myself time to live and enjoy the process. I’ll rest between tasks, take days to feast and play. Because I know that those moments of pleasure in a day make me more potent, intuitive, energized and present when I’m working on my dreams.

I hope today revitalizes you too – that it fills your Holidays with not only a burning passion for the future, but with the exquisite wonder of every moment along the way. Happy Thanksgiving.

Categories: Creativity, Manifestation - Tags: , ,

How NOT to be a Muggle

Written by on July 15, 2011 · Leave a Comment

Patronus Charm

The whole problem with Muggles, looking from the outside in, is that they don’t have magic. They’re stuck in a world without brushes that automatically wash pots, cars that fly, and the ability to petrify our friends in duels.

In anticipation of the latest release, I’ve been watching the Harry Potter movies again. In the third movie, as the wizard’s Knight Bus careens through the streets, Harry wonders how they possibly wouldn’t be seen by every car, pedestrian and passenger along the way. The conductor replies, “Them! Don’ listen properly, do they? Don’ look properly either. Never notice nuffink, they don’“.

Indeed, it seems inordinately hard for Muggles to see the magical world unfolding around them. It takes some dastardly devastation by evil wizards or a Ford Anglia taking off from a busy downtown street to even get a small response (and who would believe the tale anyway?!). Of course, the wizarding world does some quick memory wipes to keep them from being discovered, but how does everyone in the train station miss people haphazardly running through the wall to get to Platform 9 ¾?

They just aren’t looking.

We just aren’t looking.

Open your Eyes

Magic is everywhere. It permeates the fabric of our existence. Miraculous mysteries grow and move and sing and dance beneath our feet every second. The funny thing about magic brushes that wash our pots? We could call that an automatic dishwasher. Technology is amazing, but that is not the only magic we have. (Check out this video again – I still think about it all the time – only a few minutes, then back here. Chop chop.)

Look around! And yes, this is the proverbial stop and smell the roses. But really, stop and smell the roses. Notice the light on that puddle from last night’s thunderstorm. The feel of the breeze, the temperature of summer. That dog over there and those geese honking at each other from the pond.

And how amazing is it that we humans can notice those things at all? That we can move about, let the world in with all its colors and smells and tastes and textures. Those are just the senses! The vastness of this human experience, filled with emotion and meaning and interpretation and connection with other people, is truly astounding. We get to experience the divine, fall in love, fall out of love, create stuff, get angry, mourn, feel joy…how amazing is that? All of those things are sensory too – and really, we still aren’t paying attention – it just happens and we let it slip by unappreciated.

Here’s some serious magic: The world moves when you pay attention. When you decide on courses of action. Manifestation is more than just an idea – as you become more committed to something, everything shifts. Opportunities follow your thoughts, and if your thoughts are scattered, so are you. I often wonder if real wizardry is a result of intense focus – ever noticed that the more difficult spells seem to require more time and attention? You can’t make PolyJuice in a single day.

From Muggle to Magic

So, what makes us Muggles? Is it the fact that we are more consumed by the mundane necessities of our survival – jobs, getting places, getting things done? Is it that we are so continuously distracted by these things that we simply can’t focus long enough to make things happen? Are we so undecided about our dreams, or insecure about our abilities that we just can’t conjure the power to make something happen?

What would happen if we paid more attention to this moment? What would happen if we made some decisions, and then fueled them with a little courage and a little action? I think worlds would move. Life would change. Every second would be a wonderland. Sounds like being ecstatically, creatively alive. Sounds like magic.

Want to try it? Today?

Here are a few  ways to start:

Hogwarts School

  1. Witnessing. I learned this practice from a crazy desert Indian. (Ask him, he’ll tell you he’s crazy and an Indian.) He encouraged me to spend a whole day doing it – I’ve only done it for a couple hours at a time.  Basically, all you do is watch the world happen. I find it most intriguing in public places, where people fight, play, run this way, run that way. All you do is observe, without giving any input. Even in conversation, you stay aloof. If someone says hi, you say hi back, but the questions that follow, like “how are you?”…well, don’t do that. That’s input, and you are playing the part of the observer. (A side note: I think a little craziness really helps your magical abilities)
  2. Take a moment and write down a few things that you’ve wanted to accomplish. Choose some that you’ve been putting off for awhile – you know, those dreams you want to do, plan to get around to, and never do. Pick one of them, and set a course to explore it more fully. Start with a small piece. For example, if you want to write a novel, resolve to write the scene that sparked the idea. The whole book is too big – and thinking you have to do it all now may be one of the reasons you haven’t started. Just put a little color on the canvas, and see what color wants to come next.
  3. Go to a magically inspiring movie. Harry Potter is a good one, especially today. I love Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (the critics didn’t, but I did) and the surprisingly delightful Stardust with Clair Danes and Robert Dinero. The recent Alice in Wonderland with Johnny Depp also left me inspired. If you have a favorite movie that evokes the magic in you, let us know in the comments. I’d love to see it.

Expecto Patronum!

 

Categories: Adventure, Being in the Moment, Ecstatic Living, Manifestation - Tags: , ,

7 steps to a sugar cleanse

Written by on February 6, 2011 · 2 Comments

Raw Almonds. Photo by Ephraim

I caved under peer pressure. Most of the popular diets start with some kind of sugar cleanse. I don’t mean just the white granulated sweetness either – though white is a key characteristic to avoid. White bread. White flour. Rice (even brown rice – it could be white). Potatoes. Pasta. If you want to do this right, all are off the list.

The terror doesn’t stop there. Replacement sweeteners need to go for awhile too. Honey. Agave nectar. Natural sugars. And especially artificial sugars. You can use stevia, but I don’t. I’d rather eat paste.

Fruit doesn’t work either. Except, perhaps, blueberries on occasion. But definitely not juice.

I’ve heard variations of these things from so many sources that I lose count. South Beach, Atkins, Rosedale. I heard it during my training as a Mayan Abdominal Massage specialist – you need to watch your diet to keep your belly (and body) healthy. Actually, with all the conflicting voices about the best diet, it seems they all agree on this point: Processed sugar is a bad idea.

When I launched into this, the most recent version I had heard was Rosedale’s. My wife’s natural pharmacist had recommended it to her, and to be honest, if my wife hadn’t decided it was time to do something and stick with it, I wouldn’t have made it. Because I didn’t really want to do it.

You see, I was addicted. I realized that as the withdrawal symptoms set in. I felt hungry no matter how much I ate, even if I was full. I was angry. And tired. I wanted to throw temper tantrums and sometimes did. That was the first week.

By the middle of the second week, I started to feel better. I actually enjoyed my regular nut snacks (handfuls at a time – raw is best, though most of mine were roasted). I felt satisfied with a bit of avocado, a couple of eggs for breakfast, a salad with olive oil, Real Salt and balsamic vinegar. And the best part, the most convincing part, was that the pounds were starting to fade away.

Rosedale starts with a three week sugar cleanse. You fill up on healthy, preferably unsaturated, fats and lean meats and proteins. In fact, olive oil, avocados, nuts and fish oils are essential. Fish, chicken, low-fat cheeses, ham and turkey can all be part of the mix. Just no sugar of any kind. The promise is that it turns off the cravings and turns on your body’s natural fat-burning mechanisms. By the end of the second week, I was a believer. I wasn’t desperately ravenous for anything, and I was enjoying my food even more.

Why hadn’t I tried this before, after years of hearing how to do it? I simply wasn’t desperate enough. This time, I was. I even threw things away! Emptied my cupboards and refrigerator of all temptations. I didn’t go to the store at all – Susie did that for us. (And thank goodness. When I finally went in the middle of the second week, I had to move quickly and just get out as fast as possible. Go with a detailed list.)

I broke the cleanse at Root Down, one of my favorite local restaurants. Dessert was a giant homemade Oreo cookie with mascarpone filling and spiced, dark hot chocolate (still on the winter menu). Then I went back on the diet until Thanksgiving, allowing myself to indulge in the holiday feasting. In the first 4 weeks, I shed 20 pounds. Since then – unfocused, but mildly conscious about my eating, another 5.

Ready to try it? Here are a few recommendations.

  1. Make a list of things you like to eat that don’t have sugar. Vegetables, meats, nuts, seeds, snacks. Use lists for the various diets that are available online (or go buy the books). Remember, no breads or pasta or rice or sugar. Nothing white.
  2. You must get stocked up. You may not have the good fortune of someone to go to the grocery store for you. We had no meal plan and nothing ready to go. It makes it harder. If you can avoid the store for a week, you’ll have a better chance.
  3. Eliminate temptations. I say this after you are stocked up because it’s much easier to hide or throw away food when you have something else to replace it.
  4. Most likely, you’ll get moody. Be prepared. Wade through it anyway.
  5. Decide how long you’ll go before having sugar again. South Beach talks about two weeks. Rosedale is three. Others are 4.
  6. Get food you like. While the no sugar thing is most likely temporary, this is headed towards a lifestyle change. As hedonists, we tend to demand that we enjoy our meals.
  7. Plan your reward at the end. Mine was Root Down. And then Thanksgiving. What will yours be?

If you’re going to do it, you have to jump in. Give yourself a week to prepare if you must, but set the date. How about next Monday? I didn’t give myself any prep time – really, Susie didn’t give us any prep time. All those books, the urgings of my wife – I had to cave to the pressure. I’m glad I did.

Categories: Diet and Nutrition, Health and Wellness, Modern Hedonist - Tags: , , ,

I’ve neglected you…don’t let the small things get in the way

Written by on January 31, 2011 · 1 Comment

Bite-sized, delicious blueberries. Photo by Basheer.

The new year has been bursting with activity. Some resolutions actually evolving into habits and bigger and better ideas, others sitting on the back burner to wait for more opportune moments.

I’m still excited. My cup is half full (there’s lots of room to play and learn). The setbacks in some areas don’t have enough weight to keep me from actively pursuing an ecstatic lifestyle. More than ever, I realize that isn’t just about losing weight and letting good health flow through my veins. It starts inside, welling from a place that is both focused and fluid, a spring of joy that floods out fear, anger, frustration, disappointment. It emerges into action, into realigning my life in gradual steps and occasional leaps toward living as fully and joyfully as possible.

It’s the old habits that die hard, and for me, procrastinating my writing is as old as I am. I jumped into this website with intentions for good quality content at least weekly…words that would inspire you (and me) to live ecstatically and show you how to do it.

That’s how I’ve neglected you. I imagine that you’re intrigued to know how I lost 20 pounds in a couple of months, how I’m redesigning my life in search of time and money freedom, and how, in the midst of all of that, I’m still enjoying the finer things that life has to offer.

Here’s what gets in the way: I want this website to look this way, and do this and that and I ought to learn this or that before writing anything, right? Nope. I want to have a complete guide for all the things I did in the past few months to get where I am now – and how all of that continues. I want to point you to the things I’ve used, the products I’ve bought, the information I’ve found. I wanted to do all of that at the same time. It was too much, and I was paralyzed. I would start writing and there was so much that a single post would be bursting with enough ideas that it was completely indigestible and nearly unintelligible – and that was in the first two paragraphs.

I am getting out of my own way. I’ll give you all of that stuff in delectable, bite-sized pieces that can be easily devoured or slowly savored (we all have our own style of reading and eating). And as for all those little things that I believe have to be first? Time for them to take the back seat.

Categories: Ecstatic Living - Tags: , , ,

The year of living ecstatically

Written by on January 1, 2011 · 1 Comment

Light on the New Year

All my resolutions point to happy, ecstatic, healthy living. In the end, that’s what I want, this year and for the rest of my life – a deep, happy, meaningful existence filled with great relationships, fabulous food, a healthy body, amazing sex, playful living, creative expression, financial freedom, and ecstatic experiences. These things have made my life happier and more fulfilling in the past, so why not do that again? Ever since I started making any kind of resolution, it’s been so I could be happier. Why not make it more intentional?

So I ask myself about each resolution: How does this help me to live more ecstatically? How does this enrich my life?

In fact, I’m going to ask that question all the time. When I’m thinking about the future (like now) it helps me to analyze if the idea can really help me evolve as a healthy, hedonistic human J. When I apply it to a situation (positive or negative), it offers perspective on the richness of that moment. It enhances it, gives me clearer vision, helps the negative become more interesting and makes the positive even better. If I really don’t like the situation, it could give me the strength to get out if it, too.

Sure, I’m going to get into some specific intentions too, not only because I really like the excitement and anticipation of the planning, but also because “be happy” can get lost in the day-to-day details.  Now, every idea will carry that seductive whisper… while you do this, while you create this, while you eat this…“get ecstatic”.

Happy New Year!

Categories: Ecstatic Living - Tags:

Happiness is in the words: Create resolutions that inspire you

Written by on January 1, 2011 · 3 Comments

This year, I brainstormed resolutions. A friend wanted to collaborate on getting focused, specific and empowered in the creation of her intentions for 2011. So, I sat down with her and my wife for a round robin of goal setting. Each of us would bring up something we wanted to work on, and together, we would form the language into a powerful, positive intention that motivated us to stay with it.

Before I started, I had a loose idea of how I would launch into the New Year (the others were a bit more prepared). A part of me wondered how much difference specificity in the language would make – I know it can be extremely important when looking for answers and forming archetypal questions, but in resolutions, I like to offer some leeway to the universe for adaptation – I want to be open to possibilities I might not have considered.

What emerged was a wonderful combination of everything. Each resolution became a prayer of inspiration, hope and momentum filled with plenty of wiggle room. The collaboration allowed us to really consider what we were trying to say, encouraged us to get specific and challenge ourselves in new ways, and created a bond with each other and our intentions that seemed ripe with real possibility.

As you sit down and get focused on the year to come, consider a few things:

  1. Make all of your goals about choosing happiness – let them emerge from that idea.
  2. Create an intention for the important areas you want to improve. General categories might be money, relationships, creativity, health, playfulness, spirituality.
  3. Keep it simple. Four to six is most likely enough – maybe even less. You can always add more later if you’re feeling confident and successful.
  4. Use the most positive language you can. Play with the words to eliminate “stop this”, “don’t” and other things that reflect your fears around your goals. Instead, imagine that you have already arrived. For example, “Eliminate my fears around creative expression” could become “I embrace my creative process as an expression of me and courageously offer it to the world.” Of course, that language would be molded to fit what and how you want to express your creativity and to who (if anyone).
  5. Play with the words until they inspire you…until you can almost physically and emotionally feel the transformation taking place.
  6. It’s ok to revise. While today is a great day to start, inspiration may strike tomorrow, next week, next month on the best way to write and act on your ideas.
  7. Don’t wait! If the language isn’t right or you feel afraid to begin, don’t use that as another excuse to put it off. Do something today, even if it is small. A little momentum often takes you a very long way.
  8. Share and brainstorm with someone you trust. Let them help you with the words, increase the challenge, and offer encouragement.
  9. For extra credit, create manifestation statements that you can invoke on a daily basis. For example, you may resolve to lose a pound a week until you reach your optimal weight, and every day you remind yourself by saying “I am physically fit.” A series of those could be “I am financially stable and secure. I live an ecstatic life. My marriage rocks. I am physically fit.” Each of those statements reminds you of the specific intentions that support them.

It’s a new year! Choose joy! Live fully! Let your true self shine!

Ephraim

P.S. If you’d like to schedule a session to brainstorm your resolutions, let me know. I would love to help! I’m available for phone or in-person appointments.

Categories: Inspiration - Tags: ,

Indulgence for the holidays

Written by on December 30, 2010 · 1 Comment

French Silk Pie with a raw almond crust. Made by Susie, photo by me.

This is less a confession and more a statement of policy.

It is the holidays after all.

Thus, all rules and guidelines that might be more acceptable in terms of health and weight loss have a much greater… fluidity … than other times of the year.

No, I’m not going to eat a bottle of maraschino cherries. I have enough of those already floating around my stomach from 4th grade. Besides, they really don’t taste nearly as good as they did when I was a kid.

However, Grandma’s raisin tarts, eggnog, fresh whipped cream on French silk pie will not go to waste if I have anything to say about it.

Isn’t it amazing how fast the pounds can re-accumulate though? I gained four in the past week. I didn’t want that information to be the second post on Modern Hedonist, but isn’t that the way of things? There is an undeniable ebb and flow to anything we do. Too often, we translate “backslides” as failures and give up entirely. Don’t do that! I plan to continue my quest for a healthy hedonistic lifestyle for a very long time.

And actually, I don’t even see those extra pounds as a mistake at all. By Thanksgiving, I had already decided that I would be feasting on holiday goodness through most of December, especially during the week of Christmas. I figured I’d gain a few pounds and then let it slip away in the first couple weeks of the New Year. Easy come, easy go.

See? This isn’t really a confession at all. It’s more of a conscious choice to indulge for the holidays, guilt free, and accept consequences both positive and negative.

So treat yourself to that piece of pie with extra whipped cream, and enjoy your New Year’s parties – every last bite.

Categories: Modern Hedonism, Modern Hedonist Guidelines - Tags: , , ,

Healthy hedonism: A personal journey

Written by on December 23, 2010 · 4 Comments

Try this! An exotic Balinese fruit.

A couple months ago, I knew that things had to change.

You see, over years of delicious feasting and no exercise countermeasures, I’ve put on a few pounds. Enough that my BMI (body mass index) rates me as obese – and that was years ago. And I just kept going higher. Now I had reached my highest ever – about 232 pounds. It’s not as much as some – and for many, it really can’t be controlled – but the creaking in my knees and the difficulty tying my shoes around my belly made me think I needed to discover a healthier way to live.

The thing is, I refuse to compromise on taste. Every meal should be fabulous. I’m not interested in cleanses and deprivations. I’m a hedonist. I want to savor every bite. Not just of my meal, but of my life. I want to continue eating amazing food. I want to continue living through all of my senses. And, if I don’t find a healthier way to do this, I may miss out on much of the life I plan to live.

So there I was. Fairly inflexible, less agile, and I got winded walking up the stairs. I have some digestion issues – acid reflux mainly. When my dad was my age he was thinner than I. He moved better. Faster. Later in life, with steady weight gain, he contracted adult-onset diabetes. It looked like the direction I was headed and I don’t want to go down that road – I want a long, healthy, ecstatic life.

I needed a change in my health. But could I do that without sacrificing the sensual parts of living? Even better, could I find a way to more ecstatically experience life, food, sex and everything else? More than I already do?

After all, I’ve been helping people live this way for years now. It seemed like it was time to take things to the next level, for me and for them.

Since that decision, I’ve lost about 20 pounds. I’m moving better, feeling more energized. I made some changes, but I still enjoy almost every meal. I have a feeling it’s just going to get better too. Isn’t that the way of things we are truly passionate about? The deeper you go, the richer and more interesting it is.

Whether I live another 100 years or I keel over tomorrow, I want every meal, every smell, every experience, and every single moment to be delicious. The longer life, the better. Hopefully, this quest for healthful indulgence and ecstatic living can inspire you too. How about we take the ride together?

Categories: Adventure, Hedonist, Modern Hedonist - Tags: , ,

Sensual Christmas Spirit

Written by on December 18, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Soaking in the Season

Christmas is a sensual holiday. Golden turkey roasted to moist perfection. Bowls of brilliant-colored candies that melt away on your tongue. Cinnamon and clove spiced apple cider. The smell of pine wafts through the house, from a tree decked with baubles and lights and more sweet treats. Gifts wrapped in color and cheer enticing the imagination. The comforting warmth of indoors after a cold winter chill.

We fill ourselves with the smells and flavors and sounds of the holidays, savoring every bit that we can possibly take in. Here’s the real question: How does it make you feel? I’m not just talking about joyful, anxious, loving – though that is a big part of this. But what do you feel like, through the senses, as you experience the holiday season and everything it means to you?

Let me offer an example.

One of my favorite moments this time of year is at the end of the day, as I wander off to bed. The tree is lit, the fireplace crackling, the room warm and inviting. Rather than turning off the tree, I yield to the scene and loll on the couch. From there, I indulge in the sensations…

I feel relaxed and comfortably heavy, sinking into the cushions of the couch. I also feel safe in that relaxation, as if all of my organs have suddenly started to breathe and sigh with relief. My belly feels particularly calm, secure and carefree (unless I’m really full). I breathe the scent of pine, gaze on the beauty of the decorations, and the moment layers with all the great holidays I have experienced over the years…a flood of feelings that relaxes me even further. I feel as if I am melting into the scene while filling the room and the house. Instead of simply the smell of pine, it feels as if every breath brings in the entire scene.

Overall, the sensation is one of both melting and expanding. I feel more connected with the people I love. If my thoughts wander, I am often hit with sparks of inspiration. I find myself wishing good cheer for everyone, and sending good wishes even to people that I normally don’t think about. In that sense of expansion, I almost feel as if I am with them too, could reach out and touch their cheek or give them a hug filled with honest love and encouragement.

Eventually, I extract myself from the couch and wander off to bed, with the sensations and connection of the moment still lingering with me. Later, if I want to, I can conjure that moment and its feelings again.

Would you like to try it?

  1. My dog enjoys a Christmas nap too

    Find a place that really captures the spirit of the season for you. In addition to sitting next to my tree, I also like walking at night and seeing all the Christmas lights, or pausing in a crowded street of shoppers (yours may be similar or completely different).

  2. Now, take a moment to experience the scene – notice how it makes you feel, what it may inspire, what thoughts might come to you. Particularly note the way your body feels – the sensation of how it soaks up the panorama. Imagine that each of your cells desperately wants to remember what it feels like to be in this place. Put effort into feeling it and remembering it with your body. This allows you to more easily recall it later and grounds you more deeply in the sensuality of the moment.
  3. Spend as long as you like here, though I would recommend at least several minutes. Later in the day, try to bring back the moment. Breathe in the scene, and imagine that you are actually there again. Or, with all the fabulous spots available to you this time of year, do the same thing in a different place. The more often you do it, the more often you will allow yourself to connect with the feelings of the season.

I would love to hear what happens! Feel free to post your experience in the comments below.

Categories: breath, Everyday Ecstasy, Joy, Sensuality - Tags: , , , , ,

I couldn't help but giggle…

Written by on September 27, 2010 · Leave a Comment

And though I may be the last person on the Internet to see this, I still want to share.

“Really?” you might ask.

Yes indeed…

I posted this on Facebook and one friend says she shows it to her babies when they get sad, and another uses it when she gets sad.

Laughter really is great medicine – and, as it turns out, infectious from quadruplets.

By the way, if you want to keep laughing, check out my other post from awhile back (Everything’s Amazing, Nobody’s Happy) - not quite so innocent, but still cracks me up. Also, this ever-random excursion with Tom Waits amuses me.

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